Dark Side of Light

前个月的一本凤凰周刊出了一个红卫兵回忆专题,对那个疯狂的年代的过激行为进行忏悔。忍不住想起了小时候,吃饭时经常听见父母讲他们曾经在学校里斗谁谁谁,然后双双笑到呛不过气。有一天我终于开口说:“难道,你们不觉得那样太残忍了吗?!”他们沉默了,狠狠地盯了我一眼,继续吃饭。

尽管他们是我在这个世界上唯一的亲人,但是我觉得,他们的灵魂却离我很远很远。我诘问他们的政治观念,置疑他们的行为,忍受责骂和耳光保全自己的想法。最后他们彻底投降,放弃了对我任何改造的尝试,以保证我们之间依然有亲情的存在。于是我们友好地相处了最近的十年。

高考前几天,我将一份参考题集借给了同学,并叫她第二天还给我。结果第二天我请假回家做题,她却没带来。回家后我非常郁闷。父亲问我:“你借给别人了?”我说:“是。”他说:“为什么要借给别人?”我说:“难道同学不需要看吗?”然后父亲沉默了一会,说,“你一直都是一个好人。”

曾经在网上天天鼓吹“艺术足球”,被广大英迷列为讨厌分子;不慎批评了里克尔梅而被阿迷列为头号公敌;八年过去了,他们看到我还是那么地恨,我的贴子下永远会跟着他们的嘲讽。而我呢,总是沉默不语。别人有讨厌我的权利,但公理自在人心。病刀说过:“人在世上,应努力向善向正义。”

光明消褪之时,黑暗弥漫之时。《星球大战》这部电影有句很著名的评论是:每个人的心中,都有一个达斯·维德。曾经写过《魔戒》的影评,主题也是围绕人性黑暗面的诱惑,托尔金参加过一战,如果《全金属外壳》是写实的话,相信托尔金也曾经受过人性的考验。

庆幸的是,自己也从这种考验中走出来了。人的一生不是无风的湖面,会有凶险的急流和灰暗的礁石,一个舵手,懂得牢牢把握住手中的罗盘,朝着自己的目标驶去。

最后送上Beatles的一首歌,我非常喜欢。

Let it be

When I find myself in times of trouble,

Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom,

“Let it be.”

And in my hour of darkness,

She is standing right in front of me,

Speaking words of wisdom,

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

Whisper words of wisdom,

“Let it be.”

And when the broken-hearted people

Living in the world agree,

There will be an answer,

“Let it be.”

For though they may be parted,

There is still a chance that they will see

There will be an answer,

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

Yeah, there will be an answer,

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

Whisper words of wisdom.

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

Whisper words of wisdom

“Let it be.”

And when the night is cloudy,

There is still a light that shines on me.

Shine until tomorrow,

“Let it be.”

I wake up to the sound of music,

Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom,

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

There will be an answer.

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

“Let it be.”

Whisper words of wisdom.

“Let it be.”
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